Why it's ok to not miss preaching

In my post of random thoughts on the experience of a sabbatical, I mentioned that I hadn't missed preaching and wasn't too sure what to make of that. My guess is that some people - maybe not fellow ministers - may have been ever so slightly shocked at such a comment. Does this man not feel called, after all? Is he burnt-out, needing a longer sabbatical? Is it time for him to be put out to graze?

Well, maybe it is! Or maybe we need to think a little bit harder about the preaching task and the pastoral role. Misunderstanding its nature and purpose can be problematic.

Essentially, preaching is not just about understanding the text well enough so that it can be explained to others in a helpful and, on occasions, memorable way. It isn't even explanation and application in a generic sense that allows anyone, anywhere, to benefit just as easily from it.

Rather, it is asking what do these people and this church, at this moment in this society, need to know and feel and do, and all within the swirling vortex of the world, the flesh and the devil. And the answers to those questions have to come from a holistic grasp of the fullness of biblical revelation, in it's relentlessly gospel-shaped and Christ-focused momentum. Quick and easy answers will almost inevitably be shallow and simply won't do.

It is, therefore, truly hard work. To be consistently creative is deeply demanding - creative not in the sense of being original but having the necessary prophetic edge and insight, together with a deeply-felt pastoral awareness and empathy, that all worthwhile preaching bears.

Preaching has been compared to cooking for the family - sometimes the meals are plain but nourishing, at other times they're a bit more special. The reality, though, is more complex: some family members have been malnourished and can only begin to eat slowly; others are sick and cannot take some foods; others need big hearty meals and still others are fussy eaters. Some have never eaten as part of a family. Others don't even think they're hungry. Try cooking one meal for that family and you'll begin to see and feel something of the complexity  - the fraught complexity - of the preaching task.

Some have a hobby they love; they enjoy it and are good at it. It is stimulating and satisfying. Occasionally, it's possible for that hobby to become a source of additional income or even to become a full-time occupation. When that happens, they feel like they've landed on their feet - doing what they utterly love and being paid for it! Preaching is not a well-loved hobby that some even get paid for. It is nothing like that, not even close. Preaching is not the theology-lover's hobby-as-employment. If you're a preacher who feels that it is, well maybe you need to step back and really think about it.

But what about the sheer romance of preaching - isn't that enough to engage heart and soul in the task? Well, there are preachers whose description of the work has that kind of aura to it, but, honestly? Let's be super-clear: the preacher isn't the Lone Ranger, riding to the rescue; he's far more like a battlefield medic - and there is nothing romantic, not ever, about severed limbs and gaping holes where a stomach used to be, or the sight of entrails, the howls of unrelenting agony and the foul stench that will haunt the endless nightmares. You think that all sounds romantic? Neither is the call to preach.

But, but, but...isn't it also glorious? Yes it is, it really is. Ministry is radiant with glory - the glory that streams from the cross of Jesus.

It's no wonder that, sometimes, some of us who are called to that task are quite glad to lay it aside for a time. And even to not miss it.

Some things I learned from my sabbatical

Some pretty random, unrefined reflections on my recent sabbatical. Not in any particular order.

1. Don't leave it 22 years for your first sabbatical. If it isn't written into your terms of employment (or whatever you might have) then be bold and ask your elders/church to make it so. This won't just benefit you and any others on the ministry team now but also those who will, in time, follow you in ministry there.

2. How often should a sabbatical come around and how long should it last? Who knows what's best on this one? For myself, I think every 7 years a 3 month sabbatical is about right, but people and places and needs vary so flexibility is probably key.

3. Don't expect people not in ministry to properly understand your need for a sabbatical. Be prepared for others to think this is a luxury they aren't ever given - and one they're paying for in your case. Don't let that stop you taking one and enjoying it.

4. You will probably feel under some pressure (probably self-generated) to return with 'all guns blazing'. Resist that pressure with all you have. If you learn anything on your sabbatical then learn that the progress and health of God's kingdom lies with him and not with your 'much doing'.

5. Days off and annual leave - If I'd been wiser at taking all my annual leave and more disciplined in taking regular days off then I'd probably have been less in need of a sabbatical as a means of resting and more able to use the time for deeper reflection.

6. Learning to stop when the working day is done, unless there is work to do that evening, is something I need to do better at. Working from home makes the transition somewhat fluid and less than obvious. Maybe a short walk, say 15 minutes, at the end of the working day would be a useful demarkation point? A particular struggle is reading work-related books and articles in the evening - I find it relaxing but it's also (subliminally) work.

7. During my sabbatical I worshipped elsewhere and mostly avoided contact with folks from church. But relationships can't just be put on hold - not to be engaged is to be disengaged. Which means returning to ministry is re-engaging and that can feel demanding.

8. Disengaging can make it feel like an ending, not a hiatus. I'm not surprised that, for many, a sabbatical is fairly swiftly followed by a change of ministry. I'm sure that's even more prominent when sabbaticals are not regularly taken.

9. What I missed most, really missed, was being part of a church family. I'm very glad to say.

10. What I missed least was the Sunday night/Monday morning blues - the awful feeling of yet another failure to preach as helpfully as I would wish to. Yes, I know what the cures for that are; I'm just sayin'.

11. The church has survived. Life has gone on. I'm not indispensable (I hope I've never thought I was, but it's been helpfully underlined).

12. Which maybe means that the key relationships in a church are not between the pastor and the members but between the members themselves. This might be more true where the membership is more settled and less transitory.

13. It was the first time in 25 years that I wasn't regularly preparing sermons. I didn't miss either the preparation or the act of preaching. Make of that what you will. I'm not sure what to think of it.

14. Sabbaticals can be an odd time for a pastor's wife and children. Everything goes on as normal and yet nothing is normal. Spare a thought for them.

15. I'm fundamentally a child of God, not a pastor. Much can and might change in life and in ministry but this truth will always remain. Rejoice in it, in him, and not in whatever your service might be or look like.

Learning to read more

You'd think every pastor has a natural inclination towards reading and a natural aptitude for it. If that's the stereotype then I fit the first half but have always struggled with the latter. Endless are the books I've bought - just ask my wife - and endless are the part-read books on my shelves (and you can now add ebooks into that mix). I've always found it easier to read smaller pieces - articles and such like - but books have always been far harder, certainly non-fiction works that demand sustained concentration. (Publishers, please note: books don't all need to be long)

About two years ago I decided that I needed to do better. Part-digested food doesn't really help a person to be healthy and part-finished books are likewise limited. I decided to set myself a daily goal and see if I could work towards it (I'm pretty sure I read something by John Piper that suggested doing so).

At first I thought a target of ten pages would be sustainable but, happily, that was soon revised upwards - probably because most chapters seemed to be longer than ten pages. Somehow I settled on 30 pages, Monday to Friday. That would mean 150 pages a week which would usually add-up to a book a fortnight or even quicker. It seemed a suitable challenging target without being too daunting and unrealistic.

I set 30 pages as a recurring weekday task in Todoist, my productivity app of choice. That would at least keep it before me as a goal, set one level of priority lower than my daily Bible reading (that is marked highest priority). I had also joined Goodreads, a website and app that allows you, among other things, to track your reading and serves as a database of all the books you've read; you can also follow others and share book reviews and so on.

With those parameters in place, I set off. And it has mostly - wonderfully - worked. A simple system has encouraged me to sustain reading through books and to finish far more than I ever did before. Other than books I'm reading as part of sermon preparation, I try to limit myself to reading through one book at a time. That doesn't work for some people; it does for me. I get less distracted and, if it's a book I'm finding less helpful, I shouldn't be too long in being able to move onto something that will hopefully be more useful.

I've read some very long books and a lot of relatively shorter ones (I don't choose them on that basis - book selection is another topic entirely). Some books I've read through very quickly, mostly novels for relaxation but sometimes more weighty works - Sinclair Ferguson's The Whole Christ was read in less than a day.

Apart from the satisfaction of finishing books, and hopefully with the attendant benefits of working things through, I think I've got better at focussing on what I'm reading; I'm also probably able to read faster, not that that was a particular goal.

Goodreads allows you to set an annual target of books read - I decided not to set one but made a mental note of looking to read 40 books in a year. That seemed pretty ambitious but, being only a soft target, wasn't something I was particularly focussed on. I think I read 50 books that year and then 60 the following year. Colour me astonished.

But something I need to remind myself of frequently: it's not how much I read that matters most, it's how much thinking that reading leads me to do. Colour me unfinished.

Finding the lion bigger as you grow

"Aslan, Aslan. Dear Aslan," sobbed Lucy. "At last."
The great beast rolled over on his side so that Lucy fell, half sitting and half lying between his front paws. He bent forward and just touched her nose with his tongue. His warm breath came all around her. She gazed up into his large wise face.
"Welcome, child," he said.
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."

(Prince Caspian, CS Lewis, p.124, my emphasis)

the man who knows how to wait

"Maybe the best definition of the leader is the man who knows how to wait. During the waiting he learns to lead by prayer. He deepens his love for people and his hold on the throne of grace. He becomes the man in touch with God and the man who understands people."

Jack Miller, The Heart of a Servant Leader, p.209

How parables work (RT France)

Parables...attract attention by their pictorial or paradoxical language, and at the same time their indirect approach serves to tease and provoke the hearer. It would be possible to hear a parable as no more than an interesting story or a striking bon mot, and entirely to miss the point. Parables offer images and riddles which we must work out for ourselves if we are to understand and respond. Parabolic teaching is not given on a plate. It demands perception and careful thought, and it challenges to appropriate action.

RT France, Divine Government, SPCK, p.30

How Jesus pursued his mission

"He did not set out to aggressively recruit followers by overwhelming power or manipulation; rather, he humbly acknowledged that God's prevenient elective, predestinatory choice (his 'drawing' or 'giving' people to Jesus) was required for his ministry to be successful (or, better, effective)."

Andreas Kostenberger, A Theology of John's Gospel and Letters, p.247

Renouncing privilege and power for mere persuasion

Acts 28:30,31 is

"a marvellous conclusion to the earliest recorded history of the church. Whether intended or not, Luke strikes the twin themes of the church's story throughout the best moments of its history: the willing renunciation of earthly privilege and power (Paul is at the mercy of the Roman court) combined with a happy reliance on mere persuasion to advance Christ's cause. The modern church, especially in the West, would do well to remember this winning combination. Christ does not require political, legal, or military power to achieve his purposes. He simply asks for a people willing to suffer and persuade (in the power of the Spirit)."

John Dickson, A Doubter's Guide to the Bible, p.180

On wanting to be a contemplative pastor

Was it realistic to think I could develop [into] something maybe more like a contemplative pastor - a pastor who was able to be with people without having an agenda for them, a pastor who was able to accept people as they were and guide them gently and patiently into a mature life in Christ but not get in the way, let the Holy Spirit do the guiding?

(Eugene Peterson, The Pastor, p.210)

Being an example as a pastor (or, How not to be boring)

The single most important way for pastors or church leaders to turn passive laypeople into courageous and gracious lay ministers is through their own evident godliness. A pastor should be marked by humility, love, joy, and wisdom that is visible and attracts people to trust and learn from them. As a pastor, you may not be the best preacher, but if you are filled with God’s love, joy, and wisdom, you won’t be boring! You may not be the most skilful organizer or charismatic leader, but if your holiness is evident, people will follow you.

Tim Keller, Center Church, p.288