The focus of your life

Pertinent question asked by Oliver Burkeman in the latest issue of New Philosopher:

What will your life have been, in the end, but the sum total of everything you spent it focusing on?

Feeling shame in the presence of God and in light of the cross

Commenting on Ezekiel 36, Chris Wright says,

Spiritually and psychologically there is profound insight in this chapter into the proper place of shame in the life of the believer. Israel was not to feel ashamed in the presence of the other nations (15), but they were to feel ashamed in the presence of their own memories before God (31-32). Similarly, there is a proper sense in which believers who have been forgiven by God for all their sins and offences may rightly hold up their heads in company.

We may have no control over what other people think of us, but that need not destroy the proper sense of dignity and self-respect that comes from knowing the affirmation of God himself. In the Gospels Jesus seems deliberately to have given public affirmation to those who experienced his forgiving and reinstating grace. The strong desire that Yahweh would protect the humble and sin-conscious worshipper from public shame and disgrace is often to be found in the Psalms. A favourite of my own for many years has been Psalm 25:

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul;
in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No-one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame...
Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways...
For the sake of your name, O Lord,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great. (vv.1-3,7,11)

And what relief it is to hear  the word of God coming, as it did to Israel in exile, to address that fear with the words of assurance:

Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. (Isaiah 54:4)

With such a promise, and on the basis of the cleansing and restoring work of Christ, the believer can face the world, certainly not with pride, but equally certainly without shame.

But on the other hand, the same person, alone with God and the memories of the past, can quite properly feel the most acute inner shame and disgrace. It is not, however, a destructive or crushing emotion. Rather, it is the core fuel for genuine repentance and humility and for the joy and peace that flow from that source alone. When I remember my sins I know that God does not. From his side they are buried in the depths of the sea, covered by the atoning blood of Jesus Christ, never again to be raised to the surface and held against me. And it is only in the awareness of that liberating truth that I can (or even ought) to remember them. For this is not the memory that generates fresh accusation and guilt - that is the work of Satan the accuser. Satan's stinging jolts of memory need to be taken straight to the cross and to our ascended High Priest, for,

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin. (Charities Lees Bancroft)

No, this is the memory that generates gratitude out of disgrace, celebration out of shame. It is the memory which marvels at the length and breadth and depth of God's rescuing love that has brought me from what I once was, or might easily have become, to where I am now, as a child of his grace.

In a cold mirror of a glass, I see my reflection pass;
See the dark shades of what I used to be;
See the purple of her eyes, The scarlet of my lies.
I said, Love rescue me. (U2, Love rescue me)

Chris Wright, The Message of Ezekiel, pp.301f