1. Work to build trust and respect. If there’s no trust or respect there can be no real connection. What often appears to be connection is in fact acting and/or manipulation on one person’s part. Simulated rapport I call it. We learn this kind of stuff in basic retail sales training. It’s not connection; it’s role-playing.
2. Ask the right kind of questions. Ask questions that will generate meaningful dialogue; open-ended questions, not yes-no questions. Ask questions which demonstrate that you’re interested in what the other person has to say.
3. Work to increase your awareness and to become an active listener. If you are serious about creating connection with someone then give them one hundred percent of your attention in that moment. Yep; all of it. Don’t be anywhere else (mentally). This is not always easy for us as our cerebral landscape tends be a very busy “place”. However, it is a very valuable skill to develop. Do your best to understand the other person’s perspective and thoughtfully consider the intended meaning of their words. Don’t be like many who simply wait for a gap in proceedings to launch their own self-indulgent monologue. As a general rule, listen more than you speak.
4. Read the non-verbal communication. In any conversation, the words are only part of the message and sometimes, a small part. What people don’t say will often tell you more than what they do. Listen with your eyes as well as your ears.
5. Speak their language. All the talking in the world will result in zero connection if you’re both speaking different languages. And we see this all the time; the boss and the employee, the mother and daughter, the teacher and the student, the tech-dude (Johnny) and the non-tech-dude (me). Lots of words but no understanding, no connection and no positive outcome. While most of us understand English, we all speak our own “language”. What will motivate one person will intimidate another. What will make me laugh will offend my neighbour. What will make complete sense to you could be totally confusing to your parents (think computer). Know who you’re talking with and learn their language if it’s connection you’re after.
Monday, 20 July 2009
how to avoid disconnection
Over at Stepcase Lifehack, Craig Harper has written a piece about disconnection. I particularly liked his suggestions for avoiding disconnection (or making connection); they seem to hold promise for pastoral work, too.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
the great books (ii) - the great gatsby
This was a book I bought on a recommendation of sorts and it sat (with many others) by my bedside for a few months, unread. I tried to start it but never got anywhere with it - the first couple of pages somehow just didn't draw me in.
I can't remember how it happened but at some stage I was drawn, slowly at first and then without any reserve. There are many layers to why I enjoyed the book so much: an enthralling story of deep human tragedy; the Jazz-age context; the New York setting. It has a lot going for it.
But it's the quality of the writing that really did it for me. Fitzgerald's writing by turn dazzles, intrigues and astonishes. He had a rare gift for conjoining words and images that seem at first sight thoroughly incompatible but which, on further reading, disclose a deep awareness of the possibilities of language.
Surely one of the greatest shorter novels of all time.
I can't remember how it happened but at some stage I was drawn, slowly at first and then without any reserve. There are many layers to why I enjoyed the book so much: an enthralling story of deep human tragedy; the Jazz-age context; the New York setting. It has a lot going for it.
But it's the quality of the writing that really did it for me. Fitzgerald's writing by turn dazzles, intrigues and astonishes. He had a rare gift for conjoining words and images that seem at first sight thoroughly incompatible but which, on further reading, disclose a deep awareness of the possibilities of language.
Surely one of the greatest shorter novels of all time.
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
The Place I Want To Get Back To (Mary Oliver)
is where
in the pinewoods
in the moments between
the darkness
and first light
two deer
came walking down the hill
and when they saw me
they said to each other, okay,
this one is okay,
let's see who she is
and why she is sitting
on the ground like that,
so quiet, as if
asleep, or in a dream,
but, anyway, harmless;
and so they came
on their slender legs
and gazed upon me
not unlike the way
I go out to the dunes and look
and look and look
into the faces of the flowers;
and then one of them leaned forward
and nuzzled my hand, and what can my life
bring to me that could exceed
that brief moment?
For twenty years
I have gone every day to the same woods,
not waiting, exactly, just lingering.
Such gifts, bestowed,
can't be repeated.
If you want to talk about this
come to visit. I live in the house
near the corner, which I have named
Gratitude.
(from Thirst, p.35f)
in the pinewoods
in the moments between
the darkness
and first light
two deer
came walking down the hill
and when they saw me
they said to each other, okay,
this one is okay,
let's see who she is
and why she is sitting
on the ground like that,
so quiet, as if
asleep, or in a dream,
but, anyway, harmless;
and so they came
on their slender legs
and gazed upon me
not unlike the way
I go out to the dunes and look
and look and look
into the faces of the flowers;
and then one of them leaned forward
and nuzzled my hand, and what can my life
bring to me that could exceed
that brief moment?
For twenty years
I have gone every day to the same woods,
not waiting, exactly, just lingering.
Such gifts, bestowed,
can't be repeated.
If you want to talk about this
come to visit. I live in the house
near the corner, which I have named
Gratitude.
(from Thirst, p.35f)
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
the great books (i): the thirty nine steps
The Badger and I have decided to blog 15 of our all-time favourite works of literature and I'm kicking the series off (you can find him at UnChristian Ministry).
My first choice is not a work of high literature but rather of high drama told with great skill. An old-fashioned adventure novel of the highest order that draws you in from the first page and, once there, the fate of Richard Hannay becomes an almost obsessively important part of your life, until the last page is turned and the final denouement complete.
I've read the book a couple of more times over the years (and some time ago seen the similarly-excellent film). I don't actually own a copy of the book, except as an ebook (which is the form in which I last read it a couple of years back). I do, however, currently have a bid on a Folio Society edition on eBay....
I've also read some other Buchan novels, notably Greenmantle, and whilst enjoying them too, I think this, for me, is his best work.
My first choice is not a work of high literature but rather of high drama told with great skill. An old-fashioned adventure novel of the highest order that draws you in from the first page and, once there, the fate of Richard Hannay becomes an almost obsessively important part of your life, until the last page is turned and the final denouement complete.
I've read the book a couple of more times over the years (and some time ago seen the similarly-excellent film). I don't actually own a copy of the book, except as an ebook (which is the form in which I last read it a couple of years back). I do, however, currently have a bid on a Folio Society edition on eBay....
I've also read some other Buchan novels, notably Greenmantle, and whilst enjoying them too, I think this, for me, is his best work.
Monday, 13 July 2009
pastoral wisdom
Some verses in Proverbs 20 recently struck me as particularly appropriate for those engaged in pastoral care: one for direction, one for humility, one for hope.
For direction:
For humility:
For hope:
For direction:
The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters,
but a man of understanding draws them out.
(verse 5)
For humility:
A man's steps are directed by the LORD.
How then can anyone understand his own way?
(verse 24)
For hope:
The lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man;
it searches out his inmost being.
(verse 27)
Sunday, 12 July 2009
Reflections on Getting Things Done (i)
David Allen's (almost) seminal work, Getting Things Done, is a very stimulating read - and not just for those looking for better working practices. I'd like to interact with him, on an occasional basis, starting here: the blurred edges of modern work.
David is quite right, I believe, to point to the changing nature of work for most people as a major factor in mounting stress levels. He quotes Peter Drucker's phrase for the new type of work - knowledge work - that most people are somehow engaged in.
(Of course, doctors and nurses, teachers and firemen and a whole host more are not really doing this kind of work....or are they? More and more those employed in such professions have to handle information demands - it's spreading all over....)
The thing about knowledge work is this, says Allen: "there are no edges to most of our projects. Most people I know have at least half a dozen things they're trying to achieve right now, and even if they had the rest of their lives to try, they wouldn't be able to finish these to perfection." The egdes are ragged; the need for what he terms "cross-divisional communication, cooperation and engagement" is becoming all-pervasive. And to that "we must add...the constantly shifting definition of our jobs". (pp.5,6).
Some reflections:
i. Where there are no edges, no boundaries, there is no shelter, no real home. That matters greatly. We need the security, the rest, of home.
ii. I wonder if it would help to try to recategorise what is required and what is being done. That is, to view knowledge work instead as people work - to learn to focus on the relationships that exist (or that come into existence) rather than on what passes between them (knowledge). Making people primary without knocking knowledge. To learn to see knowledge not as the product but as a conduit, as a means to an end - the goal being people living well (you can fill-in the theological defiition of 'well').
iii. In a world of fuzzy edges with no end in sight for work, where it spills over into every other dimension of life, aided by the ubiquity of email, texts and so on - in such a world, the ability to position that work into a larger framework that has at its heart the creative and benevolent sovereignty of God is of immense importance. I think that's an improtant insight for pastors to work with but it also ought to help all of us, whatever our work.
iv. Knowing that fuzzy edges are held in the grasp of a God who is not only creative but redeeming is a vital breakthrough. Work, even the fuzziest and most blurry-edged, is not futile, is not in vain 'in the Lord'. Somehow, it gets redeemed because Jesus lives and has overcome all the forces of chaos and futility.
David is quite right, I believe, to point to the changing nature of work for most people as a major factor in mounting stress levels. He quotes Peter Drucker's phrase for the new type of work - knowledge work - that most people are somehow engaged in.
(Of course, doctors and nurses, teachers and firemen and a whole host more are not really doing this kind of work....or are they? More and more those employed in such professions have to handle information demands - it's spreading all over....)
The thing about knowledge work is this, says Allen: "there are no edges to most of our projects. Most people I know have at least half a dozen things they're trying to achieve right now, and even if they had the rest of their lives to try, they wouldn't be able to finish these to perfection." The egdes are ragged; the need for what he terms "cross-divisional communication, cooperation and engagement" is becoming all-pervasive. And to that "we must add...the constantly shifting definition of our jobs". (pp.5,6).
Some reflections:
i. Where there are no edges, no boundaries, there is no shelter, no real home. That matters greatly. We need the security, the rest, of home.
ii. I wonder if it would help to try to recategorise what is required and what is being done. That is, to view knowledge work instead as people work - to learn to focus on the relationships that exist (or that come into existence) rather than on what passes between them (knowledge). Making people primary without knocking knowledge. To learn to see knowledge not as the product but as a conduit, as a means to an end - the goal being people living well (you can fill-in the theological defiition of 'well').
iii. In a world of fuzzy edges with no end in sight for work, where it spills over into every other dimension of life, aided by the ubiquity of email, texts and so on - in such a world, the ability to position that work into a larger framework that has at its heart the creative and benevolent sovereignty of God is of immense importance. I think that's an improtant insight for pastors to work with but it also ought to help all of us, whatever our work.
iv. Knowing that fuzzy edges are held in the grasp of a God who is not only creative but redeeming is a vital breakthrough. Work, even the fuzziest and most blurry-edged, is not futile, is not in vain 'in the Lord'. Somehow, it gets redeemed because Jesus lives and has overcome all the forces of chaos and futility.
Saturday, 11 July 2009
Getting Things Done (well, trying to)
For some time now I've been trying to implement a GTD method of working (if it's new to you, here's a brief explanation).
Allied to - and maybe central to - that effort has been the quest to find suitable software to enable the most helpful means of collating and using information in tracking projects and so on. It would be really helpful to have both a desktop app and one that worked on a mobile basis (for example, on the iPod Touch). If it somehow interfaced with Google Calendar or Gmail then even better.
Well, I've tried loads - I thought Evernote might do it but somehow it's great for the Reference dimension of GTD but not so good at the Project and Next Actions level. The same applies to OneNote, although I do find that easier for the Project level. For a while it looked like Google's Notebook might be the one but that is now history.
A number of online services have been suggested along the way - some of which have counterparts that work with the iPod Touch (and iPhone, of course, but I have the former, not the latter).
Of late I've tried with varying success the following:
Remember the Milk
GTD Agenda
Task2Gather
Toodledo
Todoist
RTM I could never really get the hang of - maybe I ought to try it again. It has an iPhone app and it handles the Gmail aspect, too.
GTDAgenda - What I really like here is the ability to 'star' items on a Project List as being Next Actions and they then appear in the (surprise, surprise) Next Actions section. But it doesn't have such a clean look and keeping track of stuff hasn't been easy.
Task2Gather I gave a whirl to the other day but it just doesn't work for me. Not simple enough.
Toodledo I've used quite a bit - it has a really nice iPhone app but even that has its drawbacks (no grouping of tasks within the Next Actions section). And the basic online layout is just a wee bit too busy.
In terms of the iPod, I'd love to be able to try out Appigo's ToDo because it has a desktop counterpart. I'd love to try the (reportedly) amazingly powerful OmniFocus which also has a desktop experience. The same applies to Things. Alas, all these only work on Macs. If only....
Which leads me to Todoist - not the most catchy of names but it's shaping up into a really nice app - after a short and not too steep learning curve I've been able to set it up how I want it to be - nice layout, good options for outlining of projects etc. I've set it up without a Next Actions section (gasp!surely not!) - instead, I can check the Projects and tag whatever is next in line to be done and a simple 'next' query brings up a list of items that are so tagged.
I've only really used it in earnest for a day or so - and most of the time I've spent with it has been set-up rather than proper use - but it's really appealing. It's a free service (as most of these are) with the option to pay a low monthly fee for extra facilties (I don't think I'll be needing them).
It's an online app which has a mobile site from which you can look through your whole set-up. Not sure how much editing you can do from there but that's not neccessarily a deal-breaker.
So, that's about it, for now.
Maybe I ought to add that I'm using it in conjunction with Evernote (for reference materials) and OneNote (for keeping track on focus areas and for writing).
Of course, the irony isn't lost on me - time taken to research and set-up a system and then posting about it is all time spent not Getting Things Done...but it's worth it in the long-haul.
Update: Not only does the mobile version work reasonably well on the iPod Touch, it works nicely on Opera Mini on my Nokia 6120, despite its small screen. That is good news. You can't edit items or check them off as done but you can add items.
Allied to - and maybe central to - that effort has been the quest to find suitable software to enable the most helpful means of collating and using information in tracking projects and so on. It would be really helpful to have both a desktop app and one that worked on a mobile basis (for example, on the iPod Touch). If it somehow interfaced with Google Calendar or Gmail then even better.
Well, I've tried loads - I thought Evernote might do it but somehow it's great for the Reference dimension of GTD but not so good at the Project and Next Actions level. The same applies to OneNote, although I do find that easier for the Project level. For a while it looked like Google's Notebook might be the one but that is now history.
A number of online services have been suggested along the way - some of which have counterparts that work with the iPod Touch (and iPhone, of course, but I have the former, not the latter).
Of late I've tried with varying success the following:
Remember the Milk
GTD Agenda
Task2Gather
Toodledo
Todoist
RTM I could never really get the hang of - maybe I ought to try it again. It has an iPhone app and it handles the Gmail aspect, too.
GTDAgenda - What I really like here is the ability to 'star' items on a Project List as being Next Actions and they then appear in the (surprise, surprise) Next Actions section. But it doesn't have such a clean look and keeping track of stuff hasn't been easy.
Task2Gather I gave a whirl to the other day but it just doesn't work for me. Not simple enough.
Toodledo I've used quite a bit - it has a really nice iPhone app but even that has its drawbacks (no grouping of tasks within the Next Actions section). And the basic online layout is just a wee bit too busy.
In terms of the iPod, I'd love to be able to try out Appigo's ToDo because it has a desktop counterpart. I'd love to try the (reportedly) amazingly powerful OmniFocus which also has a desktop experience. The same applies to Things. Alas, all these only work on Macs. If only....
Which leads me to Todoist - not the most catchy of names but it's shaping up into a really nice app - after a short and not too steep learning curve I've been able to set it up how I want it to be - nice layout, good options for outlining of projects etc. I've set it up without a Next Actions section (gasp!surely not!) - instead, I can check the Projects and tag whatever is next in line to be done and a simple 'next' query brings up a list of items that are so tagged.
I've only really used it in earnest for a day or so - and most of the time I've spent with it has been set-up rather than proper use - but it's really appealing. It's a free service (as most of these are) with the option to pay a low monthly fee for extra facilties (I don't think I'll be needing them).
It's an online app which has a mobile site from which you can look through your whole set-up. Not sure how much editing you can do from there but that's not neccessarily a deal-breaker.
So, that's about it, for now.
Maybe I ought to add that I'm using it in conjunction with Evernote (for reference materials) and OneNote (for keeping track on focus areas and for writing).
Of course, the irony isn't lost on me - time taken to research and set-up a system and then posting about it is all time spent not Getting Things Done...but it's worth it in the long-haul.
Update: Not only does the mobile version work reasonably well on the iPod Touch, it works nicely on Opera Mini on my Nokia 6120, despite its small screen. That is good news. You can't edit items or check them off as done but you can add items.
Friday, 10 July 2009
tracking down the hinted greats
Way back when, unless a mate had the album, all you had to go on were the singles released, the odd album track played on the radio and the reviews in your music mag of choice. To shell out precious cash on an unheard album was risky and, so, although many hints were dropped about how great an album was, it was always a leap and one not everyone was willing to take.
So - spotify! Yes, continuing to sing its praises. This last week I've had a great deal of pleasure in 'discovering' these albums:
UB40 - Present Arms - I had Signing Off, their first offering. But, apart from One In Ten, this album remained a mystery - especially its dub twin. I'd say it's one of their very best - a great listen.
Simple Minds - Sparkle In The Rain - If I remember rightly, this made its appearance in the autumn of '83 and it was quite a departure from the aesthetics of New Gold Dream (81, 82, 83, 84). Big, bold, anthemic - perfectly suited to its time. A real treat to hear the classic singles in their larger context.
Japan's The Tin Drum and David Sylvian's Brilliant Trees - I've often been intrigued by the press they got, and only now think I can begin to see what others saw in them. An acquired taste, certainly, but some standout tracks.
None of the above would make my list of all-time great albums but they're more than worth a listen.
So - spotify! Yes, continuing to sing its praises. This last week I've had a great deal of pleasure in 'discovering' these albums:
UB40 - Present Arms - I had Signing Off, their first offering. But, apart from One In Ten, this album remained a mystery - especially its dub twin. I'd say it's one of their very best - a great listen.
Simple Minds - Sparkle In The Rain - If I remember rightly, this made its appearance in the autumn of '83 and it was quite a departure from the aesthetics of New Gold Dream (81, 82, 83, 84). Big, bold, anthemic - perfectly suited to its time. A real treat to hear the classic singles in their larger context.
Japan's The Tin Drum and David Sylvian's Brilliant Trees - I've often been intrigued by the press they got, and only now think I can begin to see what others saw in them. An acquired taste, certainly, but some standout tracks.
None of the above would make my list of all-time great albums but they're more than worth a listen.
Thursday, 9 July 2009
on false dichotomies
A couple of really thought-provoking posts by Chris Wright on false dichotomies within evangelicalism.
Part 1
Part 2
Well worth reading.
Part 1
Part 2
Well worth reading.
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
the best discovery
Chatting to someone about spotify last night and they asked me what my best discovery had been.
I regaled them with tales of Echo & The Bunnymen's fine album, What Are You Going To Do With Your Life, Glen Campbell's superb Meet Glen Campbell and the two pivotal Steely Dan albums, Aja and Gaucho (the latter much-maligned but for why I cannot fathom).
His best discovery was Moment Of Glory by The Scorpions with the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra.
Seems like there's no accounting for taste.
I regaled them with tales of Echo & The Bunnymen's fine album, What Are You Going To Do With Your Life, Glen Campbell's superb Meet Glen Campbell and the two pivotal Steely Dan albums, Aja and Gaucho (the latter much-maligned but for why I cannot fathom).
His best discovery was Moment Of Glory by The Scorpions with the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra.
Seems like there's no accounting for taste.
Sunday, 28 June 2009
adrian snell
Great to see some Adrian Snell albums appearing on spotify. Let's hope it isn't long before his whole catalogue is available there.
Anyway, here's a link to his latest offering, Every Place Is Under The Stars.
Anyway, here's a link to his latest offering, Every Place Is Under The Stars.
Friday, 26 June 2009
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
the young gatsby's struggles
But his heart was in a constant, turbulent riot. The most grotesque and fantastic conceits haunted him in his bed at night. A universe of ineffable gaudiness spun itself out in his brain while the clock ticked on the wash-stand and the moon soaked with wet light his tangled clothes upon the floor. Each night he added to the pattern of his fancies until drowsiness closed down upon some vivid scene with an oblivious embrace. For a while these reveries provided an outlet for his imagination; they were a satisfactory hint of the unreality of reality, a promise that the rock of the world was founded securely on a fairy's wing.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby, p.79
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
the great songs (xxv) - the cutter
What sadness attends this final post in the series! But The Cutter by Echo & The Bunnymen almost makes me want to start a sub-genre: songs I'd love to sing on a karaoke night. (Just for the record, I've never been to one....)
There are lots of reasons I'm including this here. The sheer energy of the playing; grand, but not grandiose. The singing that just about stays this side of histrionic, pummeling the emotions out of their shell. And the intriguing lyrics: will I still be soiled when the dirt is off? Hmm.
They had a great run of singles in the mid 80s - I first sat up and took notice with the charting of The Back Of Love and fell head over heels in love with The Killing Moon (which would be a worthy substitute for The Cutter - check out the All Night version here; more memories of confined evenings in a Doncaster bedsit in '84, with Kid Jensen on the evening Radio 1 slot). And Never Stop was an unusually-affecting song, falling between the Porcupine and Ocean Rain albums.
Sure, they were overblown and maybe took themselves too seriously but they were young and so were we. Who isn't guilty?
One final reason for choosing this one: the memory of the song playing on the jukebox in the Cov Poly Student Union bar one night and a couple looking into each other's eyes and singing, 'Not just another drop in the ocean'.
I've often wondered whether they went the distance.
There are lots of reasons I'm including this here. The sheer energy of the playing; grand, but not grandiose. The singing that just about stays this side of histrionic, pummeling the emotions out of their shell. And the intriguing lyrics: will I still be soiled when the dirt is off? Hmm.
They had a great run of singles in the mid 80s - I first sat up and took notice with the charting of The Back Of Love and fell head over heels in love with The Killing Moon (which would be a worthy substitute for The Cutter - check out the All Night version here; more memories of confined evenings in a Doncaster bedsit in '84, with Kid Jensen on the evening Radio 1 slot). And Never Stop was an unusually-affecting song, falling between the Porcupine and Ocean Rain albums.
Sure, they were overblown and maybe took themselves too seriously but they were young and so were we. Who isn't guilty?
One final reason for choosing this one: the memory of the song playing on the jukebox in the Cov Poly Student Union bar one night and a couple looking into each other's eyes and singing, 'Not just another drop in the ocean'.
I've often wondered whether they went the distance.
Friday, 5 June 2009
the great songs (xxiv) - rhinestone cowboy
Well, many weeks back I was convinced I'd have to include Glen Campbell's Wichita Lineman in this list but then I heard Rhinestone Cowboy on the radio and knew straightaway the latter had supplanted the former. Not because it's a better song, per se - I think Lineman has one of the all-time great lyrical couplets ('And I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time'). It's a truly worthy, special love song, of the old fashioned variety. They justifiably call it sophisticatiion. So why did RC win the day?
I think it's down to the overall singalong quality of the song - it's got great momentum from the off; once heard, never forgotten. But, perhaps moreso, it's down to the memories it evokes, memories that are touched with the deep sadness of loss right now: life at 41 Y Ddol in Pwllheli; listening to Mam's radio in the kitchen, watching Top Of The Pops, lying on the floor doing homework. Mid 70s homelife.
And I think, too, that the lyrics were deep enough to spark some thoughts in my 12 year old brain. Thoughts about life being less than straightforward. About compromise. About the hope of redemption.
(Really worth checking-out is his 2008 album, Meet Glen Campbell, with some great cover versions and other stuff. Go, Glen; long may you run)
I think it's down to the overall singalong quality of the song - it's got great momentum from the off; once heard, never forgotten. But, perhaps moreso, it's down to the memories it evokes, memories that are touched with the deep sadness of loss right now: life at 41 Y Ddol in Pwllheli; listening to Mam's radio in the kitchen, watching Top Of The Pops, lying on the floor doing homework. Mid 70s homelife.
And I think, too, that the lyrics were deep enough to spark some thoughts in my 12 year old brain. Thoughts about life being less than straightforward. About compromise. About the hope of redemption.
(Really worth checking-out is his 2008 album, Meet Glen Campbell, with some great cover versions and other stuff. Go, Glen; long may you run)
Saturday, 30 May 2009
true authority
Sometimes a single sentence can work so much in a person. I came across this one by Oliver O'Donovan here and feel it worthwhile sharing here. He said,
I guess you'll want to read the context but you don't particularly need to; the context is an application of the single point he is making. It really made me stop and think; maybe it will you too.
All authority arises from mediation of reality.
I guess you'll want to read the context but you don't particularly need to; the context is an application of the single point he is making. It really made me stop and think; maybe it will you too.
meeting gatsby
He smiled understandingly - much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced - or seemed to face - the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favour. It understood you just so far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey. Precisely at that point it vanished - and I was looking at an elegant young rough-neck, a year or two over thirty, whose elaborate formality of speech just missed being absurd. Some time before he introduced himself I'd got a strong impression that he was picking his words with care.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby, p.40
better advice?
Reading this made me wonder: when I have been seeing someone in a pastoral counselling situation, have I been more conscious & careful of what I was saying when they were making notes on our conversation?
I think my answer is: possibly. It hasn't happened often.
I also wonder what impact the reverse situation would have - if I worked from notes in speaking to them, or made notes as they spoke (I do neither - I may have some written notes that I make into mental notes in advance of the meeting; I seldom make notes during the conversation and only do so if I need to obviously capture some piece of information).
I think my answer is: possibly. It hasn't happened often.
I also wonder what impact the reverse situation would have - if I worked from notes in speaking to them, or made notes as they spoke (I do neither - I may have some written notes that I make into mental notes in advance of the meeting; I seldom make notes during the conversation and only do so if I need to obviously capture some piece of information).
the single-aim sermon
Over at Between Two Worlds, there is this quote for preachers to mull over (non-preachers views also welcome here, as always...):
The quotation may be old but the idea is very popular today, too.
I want to ask whether it's a helpful idea. Of course, it is likely to help the preacher (and the hearer) in gaining a sense of coherence and so on. And that's good. But I want to ask the question for this reason: does a commitment to achieving a single-senteced summary of a sermon mean that the text portion must be reduced in size until one dominant thought in present in it? Suppose a couple or more things are going on in a passage - how is that to be handled? Cut it back to one main thought? Is that helpful? Can we not handle two or more big ideas at once? Are listeners so dull? Is the sermon so sacrosanct?
Maybe I'm being pedantic because I don't like the thought of more work on top of the usual sermon graft!
And what if the form of the text also communicates a message or intends an effect, in addition to the message and intent of its words? I'm thinking primarily of psalms but not only. How ought that to be handled in a sermon? Can it be handled at all or is it 'done' through the reading aloud of scripture only?
I have a conviction that no sermon is ready for preaching, not ready for writing out, until we can express its theme in a short, pregnant sentence as clear as a crystal. I find the getting of that sentence is the hardest, the most exacting, and the most fruitful labour in my study. To compel oneself to fashion that sentence, to dismiss every word that is vague, ragged, ambiguous, to think oneself through to a form of words which defines the theme with scrupulous exactness—this is surely one of the most vital and essential factors in the making of a sermon: and I do not think any sermon ought to be preached or even written, until that sentence has emerged, clear and lucid as a cloudless moon.”
—J. H. Jowett, The Preacher: His Life and Work (Harper & Bros, 1912), p. 133.
The quotation may be old but the idea is very popular today, too.
I want to ask whether it's a helpful idea. Of course, it is likely to help the preacher (and the hearer) in gaining a sense of coherence and so on. And that's good. But I want to ask the question for this reason: does a commitment to achieving a single-senteced summary of a sermon mean that the text portion must be reduced in size until one dominant thought in present in it? Suppose a couple or more things are going on in a passage - how is that to be handled? Cut it back to one main thought? Is that helpful? Can we not handle two or more big ideas at once? Are listeners so dull? Is the sermon so sacrosanct?
Maybe I'm being pedantic because I don't like the thought of more work on top of the usual sermon graft!
And what if the form of the text also communicates a message or intends an effect, in addition to the message and intent of its words? I'm thinking primarily of psalms but not only. How ought that to be handled in a sermon? Can it be handled at all or is it 'done' through the reading aloud of scripture only?
Saturday, 23 May 2009
the great songs (xxiii) - i believe in you
This selection was very difficult. In some ways, I think that Can't Get You Out Of My Head is a better song and a more compelling performance. It captures so well the obessession that masquerades as love, in every aspect. The whole feel of the song is of the densest suffocation. (Incidentally, the mashup with Blue Monday is a cracking listen, too).
But I'm opting to choose I Believe In You by Kylie (any need for a surname?). I've opted for it (I think) because it's the more positive of the two. Less compelling writing but a great peformance and the one of the best-ever deliveries of a closing line; the sweetness is almost unbearably near.
In many ways, the finest culmination of the whole S-A-W influence on popular music.
But in neither case am I recommending the videos, let it be said.
But I'm opting to choose I Believe In You by Kylie (any need for a surname?). I've opted for it (I think) because it's the more positive of the two. Less compelling writing but a great peformance and the one of the best-ever deliveries of a closing line; the sweetness is almost unbearably near.
In many ways, the finest culmination of the whole S-A-W influence on popular music.
But in neither case am I recommending the videos, let it be said.
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