Forget privacy, especially if you're a leader. Leaders are always on...It's a lesson all pastors need to also learn, however much we might wish it wasn't so.
When you follow a right path, then, the people following you are happy to bring others along. When you open doors for people (instead of closing them), your followers are more likely to open doors for others. When you are inclusive (instead of excluding), then others seek to include their peers.
For far too long, leadership has been about management and management has been about control. We push those that follow us to fit in, to do as they are told. We decide who is good enough, who is obedient enough, who is acceptable. Many institutions have been built by strong-willed men who think they have the right answer, and aren’t afraid to be bullies if it helps them achieve their goals.
But now, people have a choice. More options in how they spend their day, their money and their passion. And over and over, we see people voting with their feet. Sure, there are the frightened (and angry) that are willing to act out at a rally or carry signs that they don’t actually endorse. But this is the not the behavior of a thriving movement, it’s a desperate reaction from a dying anachronism.
"Given the contents of the New Testament, one might expect local congregations of Christians to be entirely devoted to the spiritual formation of those in attendance. What we actually find in most cases is constant distraction from this as the central task: By the demands of the organization; and by the requirements of our 'faith and practice'—our traditions. Often there is the recognition that what we wind up 'having to do' is not what we really feel it should all be about."Dallas Willard, quoted by John Ortberg
My experience on Strictly has highlighted two difficult truths in my life: first, that, although it is an important developmental task for my age group, I am not finding it easy to face my own mortality, and dancing gave me brief respite from that painful, inevitable process. Second, over the years, the job I do has taken its toll on me – as it has on many of my colleagues. Mental health professionals are on the frontline of the war against human anguish, angst and antisocial behaviour. However well trained and capable we are, it is impossible to be a receptacle for the shadow side of humanity with absolute impunity. I have been surprised to receive many positive messages from colleagues. I had thought they would ignore my flight into fantasy, but rather, they have let me know that dropping my professional demeanour and giggling like a seven year old in public has actually found their favour. In a strange way, I may even have acted out some of their own fantasies of escape and soothing. Anyway, it's healthy to get fit, to laugh, to do something you enjoy, to dance.
Dancing is the physical expression of our emotional selves, and personally I have found it to be a life-affirming path to a new-found style of happiness. I have only one regret from the entire experience – I never got to dance my Argentine tango (which would have been in the final round). But I believe it's good to have one dream left unrealised; it keeps hope alive, and the longing can remain poignant, omnipresent and painfully bright.
