Some things I learned from my sabbatical

Some pretty random, unrefined reflections on my recent sabbatical. Not in any particular order.

1. Don't leave it 22 years for your first sabbatical. If it isn't written into your terms of employment (or whatever you might have) then be bold and ask your elders/church to make it so. This won't just benefit you and any others on the ministry team now but also those who will, in time, follow you in ministry there.

2. How often should a sabbatical come around and how long should it last? Who knows what's best on this one? For myself, I think every 7 years a 3 month sabbatical is about right, but people and places and needs vary so flexibility is probably key.

3. Don't expect people not in ministry to properly understand your need for a sabbatical. Be prepared for others to think this is a luxury they aren't ever given - and one they're paying for in your case. Don't let that stop you taking one and enjoying it.

4. You will probably feel under some pressure (probably self-generated) to return with 'all guns blazing'. Resist that pressure with all you have. If you learn anything on your sabbatical then learn that the progress and health of God's kingdom lies with him and not with your 'much doing'.

5. Days off and annual leave - If I'd been wiser at taking all my annual leave and more disciplined in taking regular days off then I'd probably have been less in need of a sabbatical as a means of resting and more able to use the time for deeper reflection.

6. Learning to stop when the working day is done, unless there is work to do that evening, is something I need to do better at. Working from home makes the transition somewhat fluid and less than obvious. Maybe a short walk, say 15 minutes, at the end of the working day would be a useful demarkation point? A particular struggle is reading work-related books and articles in the evening - I find it relaxing but it's also (subliminally) work.

7. During my sabbatical I worshipped elsewhere and mostly avoided contact with folks from church. But relationships can't just be put on hold - not to be engaged is to be disengaged. Which means returning to ministry is re-engaging and that can feel demanding.

8. Disengaging can make it feel like an ending, not a hiatus. I'm not surprised that, for many, a sabbatical is fairly swiftly followed by a change of ministry. I'm sure that's even more prominent when sabbaticals are not regularly taken.

9. What I missed most, really missed, was being part of a church family. I'm very glad to say.

10. What I missed least was the Sunday night/Monday morning blues - the awful feeling of yet another failure to preach as helpfully as I would wish to. Yes, I know what the cures for that are; I'm just sayin'.

11. The church has survived. Life has gone on. I'm not indispensable (I hope I've never thought I was, but it's been helpfully underlined).

12. Which maybe means that the key relationships in a church are not between the pastor and the members but between the members themselves. This might be more true where the membership is more settled and less transitory.

13. It was the first time in 25 years that I wasn't regularly preparing sermons. I didn't miss either the preparation or the act of preaching. Make of that what you will. I'm not sure what to think of it.

14. Sabbaticals can be an odd time for a pastor's wife and children. Everything goes on as normal and yet nothing is normal. Spare a thought for them.

15. I'm fundamentally a child of God, not a pastor. Much can and might change in life and in ministry but this truth will always remain. Rejoice in it, in him, and not in whatever your service might be or look like.

Learning to read more

You'd think every pastor has a natural inclination towards reading and a natural aptitude for it. If that's the stereotype then I fit the first half but have always struggled with the latter. Endless are the books I've bought - just ask my wife - and endless are the part-read books on my shelves (and you can now add ebooks into that mix). I've always found it easier to read smaller pieces - articles and such like - but books have always been far harder, certainly non-fiction works that demand sustained concentration. (Publishers, please note: books don't all need to be long)

About two years ago I decided that I needed to do better. Part-digested food doesn't really help a person to be healthy and part-finished books are likewise limited. I decided to set myself a daily goal and see if I could work towards it (I'm pretty sure I read something by John Piper that suggested doing so).

At first I thought a target of ten pages would be sustainable but, happily, that was soon revised upwards - probably because most chapters seemed to be longer than ten pages. Somehow I settled on 30 pages, Monday to Friday. That would mean 150 pages a week which would usually add-up to a book a fortnight or even quicker. It seemed a suitable challenging target without being too daunting and unrealistic.

I set 30 pages as a recurring weekday task in Todoist, my productivity app of choice. That would at least keep it before me as a goal, set one level of priority lower than my daily Bible reading (that is marked highest priority). I had also joined Goodreads, a website and app that allows you, among other things, to track your reading and serves as a database of all the books you've read; you can also follow others and share book reviews and so on.

With those parameters in place, I set off. And it has mostly - wonderfully - worked. A simple system has encouraged me to sustain reading through books and to finish far more than I ever did before. Other than books I'm reading as part of sermon preparation, I try to limit myself to reading through one book at a time. That doesn't work for some people; it does for me. I get less distracted and, if it's a book I'm finding less helpful, I shouldn't be too long in being able to move onto something that will hopefully be more useful.

I've read some very long books and a lot of relatively shorter ones (I don't choose them on that basis - book selection is another topic entirely). Some books I've read through very quickly, mostly novels for relaxation but sometimes more weighty works - Sinclair Ferguson's The Whole Christ was read in less than a day.

Apart from the satisfaction of finishing books, and hopefully with the attendant benefits of working things through, I think I've got better at focussing on what I'm reading; I'm also probably able to read faster, not that that was a particular goal.

Goodreads allows you to set an annual target of books read - I decided not to set one but made a mental note of looking to read 40 books in a year. That seemed pretty ambitious but, being only a soft target, wasn't something I was particularly focussed on. I think I read 50 books that year and then 60 the following year. Colour me astonished.

But something I need to remind myself of frequently: it's not how much I read that matters most, it's how much thinking that reading leads me to do. Colour me unfinished.

Finding the lion bigger as you grow

"Aslan, Aslan. Dear Aslan," sobbed Lucy. "At last."
The great beast rolled over on his side so that Lucy fell, half sitting and half lying between his front paws. He bent forward and just touched her nose with his tongue. His warm breath came all around her. She gazed up into his large wise face.
"Welcome, child," he said.
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."

(Prince Caspian, CS Lewis, p.124, my emphasis)

the man who knows how to wait

"Maybe the best definition of the leader is the man who knows how to wait. During the waiting he learns to lead by prayer. He deepens his love for people and his hold on the throne of grace. He becomes the man in touch with God and the man who understands people."

Jack Miller, The Heart of a Servant Leader, p.209

How parables work (RT France)

Parables...attract attention by their pictorial or paradoxical language, and at the same time their indirect approach serves to tease and provoke the hearer. It would be possible to hear a parable as no more than an interesting story or a striking bon mot, and entirely to miss the point. Parables offer images and riddles which we must work out for ourselves if we are to understand and respond. Parabolic teaching is not given on a plate. It demands perception and careful thought, and it challenges to appropriate action.

RT France, Divine Government, SPCK, p.30

How Jesus pursued his mission

"He did not set out to aggressively recruit followers by overwhelming power or manipulation; rather, he humbly acknowledged that God's prevenient elective, predestinatory choice (his 'drawing' or 'giving' people to Jesus) was required for his ministry to be successful (or, better, effective)."

Andreas Kostenberger, A Theology of John's Gospel and Letters, p.247

Renouncing privilege and power for mere persuasion

Acts 28:30,31 is

"a marvellous conclusion to the earliest recorded history of the church. Whether intended or not, Luke strikes the twin themes of the church's story throughout the best moments of its history: the willing renunciation of earthly privilege and power (Paul is at the mercy of the Roman court) combined with a happy reliance on mere persuasion to advance Christ's cause. The modern church, especially in the West, would do well to remember this winning combination. Christ does not require political, legal, or military power to achieve his purposes. He simply asks for a people willing to suffer and persuade (in the power of the Spirit)."

John Dickson, A Doubter's Guide to the Bible, p.180

On wanting to be a contemplative pastor

Was it realistic to think I could develop [into] something maybe more like a contemplative pastor - a pastor who was able to be with people without having an agenda for them, a pastor who was able to accept people as they were and guide them gently and patiently into a mature life in Christ but not get in the way, let the Holy Spirit do the guiding?

(Eugene Peterson, The Pastor, p.210)

Being an example as a pastor (or, How not to be boring)

The single most important way for pastors or church leaders to turn passive laypeople into courageous and gracious lay ministers is through their own evident godliness. A pastor should be marked by humility, love, joy, and wisdom that is visible and attracts people to trust and learn from them. As a pastor, you may not be the best preacher, but if you are filled with God’s love, joy, and wisdom, you won’t be boring! You may not be the most skilful organizer or charismatic leader, but if your holiness is evident, people will follow you.

Tim Keller, Center Church, p.288

deliberate contexualisation

If we never deliberately think through ways to rightly contextualise gospel ministry to a new culture, we will unconsciously be deeply contextualised to some other culture.

Tim Keller, Center Church, p.96

The heavy, golden voice of Aslan

“If you’re thirsty, you may drink.” They were the first words [Jill] had heard since Scrubb had spoken to her on the edge of the cliff. For a second she stared here and there, wondering who had spoken. Then the voice said again, “If you are thirsty, come and drink,” and of course she remembered what Scrubb had said about animals talking in that other world, and realized that it was the lion speaking. Anyway, she had seen its lips move this time, and the voice was not like a man’s. It was deeper, wilder, and stronger; a sort of heavy, golden voice. It did not make her any less frightened than she had been before, but it made her frightened in rather a different way. “Are you not thirsty?” said the Lion. “I’m dying of thirst,” said Jill. “Then drink,” said the Lion.

CS Lewis, The Silver Chair.

God knew the worst about you....and yet

God knew the worst about us before he chose to love us, and therefore no discovery now can disillusion him about us in the way that we are so often disillusioned about ourselves, and quench his determination to bless us. He took knowledge of us in love.

JI Packer, Knowing God.

What matters most in ministry

Let us not measure men, much less ourselves, by gifts or services. One grain of grace is worth abundance of gifts. To be self-abased, to be filled with a spirit of love, and peace, and gentleness; to be dead to the world; to have the heart deeply affected with a sense of the glory and grace of Jesus, to have our will bowed to the will of God; these are the great things, more valuable, if compared in the balance of the sanctuary, than to be an instrument of converting a province or a nation.

John Newton, Letter to Rev Symonds, 1769.

The old weather-beaten Christian

The old weather-beaten Christian, who has learnt by sorrowful experience how weak he is in himself, and what powerful subtle enemies he has to grapple with, acquires a tenderness in dealing with bruises and broken bones, which greatly conduces to his acceptance and usefulness.

John Newton, Letter to Captain Scott, 1768.

Doing Christ-centred hermeneutics (Mere Fidelity podcast)

Very helpful discussion of Christ-centred hermeneutics with the guys from Mere Fidelity:

"Suffering people hardly settle for a puny god."

When 9/11 occurred, I was waking from a comfortable night’s sleep in an upscale San Antonio hotel.  While dressing, I watched the news footage like most people—dumbstruck.  After I gathered a good sense of what was happening, called to check on my wife and daughters in D.C., I joined my coworkers gathering in a hotel conference room for a discussion of public policy and improving the life outcomes of children and families.  When I arrived, I found a room heavy with confusion, sadness, and fear.  We were a collection of policy professionals from around the country—lots of us with family and friends in Washington, D. C. and New York.  In the silence, confusion, and sporadic telephone connections with family were the questions, “What’s going on?”  and, “Who is in control?”  A few dared ask, “Is God involved in any of this?”

I was the lone evangelical Christian in a group of committed political and social progressives.  I wasn’t in the room 3 minutes before everyone was looking to me for an answer and for prayer.

That scene reminds me that everyone needs to answer some basic, deep questions about life.  Is God involved in my life?  Who is in control?  How do I explain this pain?  It also taught me that, at bottom, we all need to encounter the majestic, glorious, merciful, and awesome God of the Scripture.  He’s the only God there is.  And when we really need Him, we need Him in all His bigness and splendor.  Suffering people hardly settle for a puny god.

So, I want to preach in such a way that recognizes that the God that truly is and the God we truly need holds all things in His hand.  He rules and reigns with no rivals.  And when the world seems to come undone, the sovereign God of the Bible is who we need.  In truth, we need that God all the time and the purpose of preaching in a post-9/11 world is to simultaneously reveal Him in sovereign glory while stripping away the mundane to expose our deep need for Him.  Most of us live in a routine-induced daze that distracts us from ultimate matters.  Preaching is the audible interruption of that daze to ask, “Do you see this great God?  Come and love Him!”

Thabiti Anyabwile

John Newton on Jesus' enduring, endearing love to wayward disciples

But when, after a long experience of their own deceitful hearts, after repeated proofs of their weakness, wilfulness, ingratitude, and insensibility, they find that none of these things can separate them from the love of God in Christ, Jesus becomes more and more precious to their souls. They love much, because much has been forgiven them.

Letter to Lord Dartmouth, April 1772

John Newton on Assurance

When young Christians are greatly comforted with the Lord's love and presence, their doubts and fears are for that season at an end. But this is not assurance; so soon as the Lord hides his face, they are troubled, and ready to question the very foundation of hope. Assurance grows by repeated conflict, by our repeated experimental proof of the Lord's power and goodness to save; when we have been brought very low and helped, sorely wounded and healed, cast down and raised again, have given up all hope, and been suddenly snatched from danger, and placed in safety; and when these things have been repeated to us and in us a thousand times over, we begin to learn to trust simply to the word and power of God, beyond and against appearances; and this trust, when habitual and strong, bears the name of assurance; for even assurance has degrees.

Letter to Mrs Wilberforce, Sept 1764. (Letters of John Newton p.74,75)

I asked the Lord that I might grow...

On the Old Testament as the manger in which Christ lies

There are some who have little regard for the Old Testament. They think of it as a book that was given to the Jewish people only and is now out of date, containing only stories of past times...But Christ says in John 5, "Search the Scriptures, for it is they that bear witness to me."...The Scriptures of the Old Testament are not to be despised but diligently read...Therefore dismiss your own opinions and feelings and think of the Scriptures as the loftiest and noblest of holy things, as the richest of mines which can never be sufficiently explored, in order that you may find that divine wisdom which God here lays before you in such simple guise as to quench all pride. Here you will find the swaddling cloths and the manger in which Christ lies...Simple and lowly are these swaddling cloths, but dear is the treasure, Christ, who lies in them!

Martin Luther - quoted by Richard B. Hays in Reading Backwards, p.1