Feeling shame in the presence of God and in light of the cross

Commenting on Ezekiel 36, Chris Wright says,

Spiritually and psychologically there is profound insight in this chapter into the proper place of shame in the life of the believer. Israel was not to feel ashamed in the presence of the other nations (15), but they were to feel ashamed in the presence of their own memories before God (31-32). Similarly, there is a proper sense in which believers who have been forgiven by God for all their sins and offences may rightly hold up their heads in company.

We may have no control over what other people think of us, but that need not destroy the proper sense of dignity and self-respect that comes from knowing the affirmation of God himself. In the Gospels Jesus seems deliberately to have given public affirmation to those who experienced his forgiving and reinstating grace. The strong desire that Yahweh would protect the humble and sin-conscious worshipper from public shame and disgrace is often to be found in the Psalms. A favourite of my own for many years has been Psalm 25:

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul;
in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No-one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame...
Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways...
For the sake of your name, O Lord,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great. (vv.1-3,7,11)

And what relief it is to hear  the word of God coming, as it did to Israel in exile, to address that fear with the words of assurance:

Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. (Isaiah 54:4)

With such a promise, and on the basis of the cleansing and restoring work of Christ, the believer can face the world, certainly not with pride, but equally certainly without shame.

But on the other hand, the same person, alone with God and the memories of the past, can quite properly feel the most acute inner shame and disgrace. It is not, however, a destructive or crushing emotion. Rather, it is the core fuel for genuine repentance and humility and for the joy and peace that flow from that source alone. When I remember my sins I know that God does not. From his side they are buried in the depths of the sea, covered by the atoning blood of Jesus Christ, never again to be raised to the surface and held against me. And it is only in the awareness of that liberating truth that I can (or even ought) to remember them. For this is not the memory that generates fresh accusation and guilt - that is the work of Satan the accuser. Satan's stinging jolts of memory need to be taken straight to the cross and to our ascended High Priest, for,

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin. (Charities Lees Bancroft)

No, this is the memory that generates gratitude out of disgrace, celebration out of shame. It is the memory which marvels at the length and breadth and depth of God's rescuing love that has brought me from what I once was, or might easily have become, to where I am now, as a child of his grace.

In a cold mirror of a glass, I see my reflection pass;
See the dark shades of what I used to be;
See the purple of her eyes, The scarlet of my lies.
I said, Love rescue me. (U2, Love rescue me)

Chris Wright, The Message of Ezekiel, pp.301f

God is there

God is there. There are times when our doctrinal conviction of God's omnipresence needs to become an experienced reality again. Whether through geographical distance, like Ezekiel's, or through more spiritual or emotional alienation, the experience of exile from the presence of God can be dark and terrible. We may not be privileged with an overwhelming vision like Ezekiel's, and most of us will be grateful to be excused the privilege, but we can certainly pray for the reassurance of the touch of his hand reminding us that God is there, even there.

Chris Wright, The Message of Ezekiel, p.45

On application in preaching

In their helpful book, How to read Job, John Walton and Tremper Longman III make the following comments about application in preaching that are worth considering:

It is important to draw a distinction between remedial application and constructive application. Remedial application is the form that application often takes in our churches today. Using this approach we come to recognise something we are doing wrong. This sort of application urges us to stop doing what we shouldn't be doing or to begin doing what we should be doing. In other words, after preaching on an Old Testament text, the preacher might urge the congregation to "go, thou, and do likewise!" or "go, thou, and don't do likewise!" Such application is sometimes referred to as the takeaway, and it often operates by instructing the hearers in steps that can be taken this week to begin to rectify the situation. The instruction may provide specific action points intended to correct harmful behaviours, adjust habits or restore relationships. Remedial application can be important and cannot be neglected, but it is only the beginning. We have to be engaged in doing more than correcting wrong behaviour or thinking. That is where constructive application comes in.

Constructive application involves more than doing what is right; it puts us on a path of thinking what is right. It involves how we think about ourselves, about the world around us and, most importantly, about God. More than action points that can be undertaken this week, these thinking points provide the basis for a lifetime of inner resources that will help us respond well to situations that we may face tomorrow, next month or 20 years down the road.

Remedial application confronts our failures and inadequacies. Constructive application fills our reservoirs of understanding so we have something to draw on throughout life. Remedial application is like paying the outstanding bills in a financial crisis. Constructive application is like contributing to a savings account so financial crisis in the future can be avoided. The former perpetuates living hand to mouth; the latter builds financial security. Ideally, our spiritual lives should grow toward maturity by being securely anchored, fed by the deep reservoir of knowledge of God that his Word supplies. We do not want to be people who only survive hand to mouth spiritually.

John H Walton & Tremper Longman III, How to read Job, pp.179f.

Why it's ok to not miss preaching

In my post of random thoughts on the experience of a sabbatical, I mentioned that I hadn't missed preaching and wasn't too sure what to make of that. My guess is that some people - maybe not fellow ministers - may have been ever so slightly shocked at such a comment. Does this man not feel called, after all? Is he burnt-out, needing a longer sabbatical? Is it time for him to be put out to graze?

Well, maybe it is! Or maybe we need to think a little bit harder about the preaching task and the pastoral role. Misunderstanding its nature and purpose can be problematic.

Essentially, preaching is not just about understanding the text well enough so that it can be explained to others in a helpful and, on occasions, memorable way. It isn't even explanation and application in a generic sense that allows anyone, anywhere, to benefit just as easily from it.

Rather, it is asking what do these people and this church, at this moment in this society, need to know and feel and do, and all within the swirling vortex of the world, the flesh and the devil. And the answers to those questions have to come from a holistic grasp of the fullness of biblical revelation, in it's relentlessly gospel-shaped and Christ-focused momentum. Quick and easy answers will almost inevitably be shallow and simply won't do.

It is, therefore, truly hard work. To be consistently creative is deeply demanding - creative not in the sense of being original but having the necessary prophetic edge and insight, together with a deeply-felt pastoral awareness and empathy, that all worthwhile preaching bears.

Preaching has been compared to cooking for the family - sometimes the meals are plain but nourishing, at other times they're a bit more special. The reality, though, is more complex: some family members have been malnourished and can only begin to eat slowly; others are sick and cannot take some foods; others need big hearty meals and still others are fussy eaters. Some have never eaten as part of a family. Others don't even think they're hungry. Try cooking one meal for that family and you'll begin to see and feel something of the complexity  - the fraught complexity - of the preaching task.

Some have a hobby they love; they enjoy it and are good at it. It is stimulating and satisfying. Occasionally, it's possible for that hobby to become a source of additional income or even to become a full-time occupation. When that happens, they feel like they've landed on their feet - doing what they utterly love and being paid for it! Preaching is not a well-loved hobby that some even get paid for. It is nothing like that, not even close. Preaching is not the theology-lover's hobby-as-employment. If you're a preacher who feels that it is, well maybe you need to step back and really think about it.

But what about the sheer romance of preaching - isn't that enough to engage heart and soul in the task? Well, there are preachers whose description of the work has that kind of aura to it, but, honestly? Let's be super-clear: the preacher isn't the Lone Ranger, riding to the rescue; he's far more like a battlefield medic - and there is nothing romantic, not ever, about severed limbs and gaping holes where a stomach used to be, or the sight of entrails, the howls of unrelenting agony and the foul stench that will haunt the endless nightmares. You think that all sounds romantic? Neither is the call to preach.

But, but, but...isn't it also glorious? Yes it is, it really is. Ministry is radiant with glory - the glory that streams from the cross of Jesus.

It's no wonder that, sometimes, some of us who are called to that task are quite glad to lay it aside for a time. And even to not miss it.

Some things I learned from my sabbatical

Some pretty random, unrefined reflections on my recent sabbatical. Not in any particular order.

1. Don't leave it 22 years for your first sabbatical. If it isn't written into your terms of employment (or whatever you might have) then be bold and ask your elders/church to make it so. This won't just benefit you and any others on the ministry team now but also those who will, in time, follow you in ministry there.

2. How often should a sabbatical come around and how long should it last? Who knows what's best on this one? For myself, I think every 7 years a 3 month sabbatical is about right, but people and places and needs vary so flexibility is probably key.

3. Don't expect people not in ministry to properly understand your need for a sabbatical. Be prepared for others to think this is a luxury they aren't ever given - and one they're paying for in your case. Don't let that stop you taking one and enjoying it.

4. You will probably feel under some pressure (probably self-generated) to return with 'all guns blazing'. Resist that pressure with all you have. If you learn anything on your sabbatical then learn that the progress and health of God's kingdom lies with him and not with your 'much doing'.

5. Days off and annual leave - If I'd been wiser at taking all my annual leave and more disciplined in taking regular days off then I'd probably have been less in need of a sabbatical as a means of resting and more able to use the time for deeper reflection.

6. Learning to stop when the working day is done, unless there is work to do that evening, is something I need to do better at. Working from home makes the transition somewhat fluid and less than obvious. Maybe a short walk, say 15 minutes, at the end of the working day would be a useful demarkation point? A particular struggle is reading work-related books and articles in the evening - I find it relaxing but it's also (subliminally) work.

7. During my sabbatical I worshipped elsewhere and mostly avoided contact with folks from church. But relationships can't just be put on hold - not to be engaged is to be disengaged. Which means returning to ministry is re-engaging and that can feel demanding.

8. Disengaging can make it feel like an ending, not a hiatus. I'm not surprised that, for many, a sabbatical is fairly swiftly followed by a change of ministry. I'm sure that's even more prominent when sabbaticals are not regularly taken.

9. What I missed most, really missed, was being part of a church family. I'm very glad to say.

10. What I missed least was the Sunday night/Monday morning blues - the awful feeling of yet another failure to preach as helpfully as I would wish to. Yes, I know what the cures for that are; I'm just sayin'.

11. The church has survived. Life has gone on. I'm not indispensable (I hope I've never thought I was, but it's been helpfully underlined).

12. Which maybe means that the key relationships in a church are not between the pastor and the members but between the members themselves. This might be more true where the membership is more settled and less transitory.

13. It was the first time in 25 years that I wasn't regularly preparing sermons. I didn't miss either the preparation or the act of preaching. Make of that what you will. I'm not sure what to think of it.

14. Sabbaticals can be an odd time for a pastor's wife and children. Everything goes on as normal and yet nothing is normal. Spare a thought for them.

15. I'm fundamentally a child of God, not a pastor. Much can and might change in life and in ministry but this truth will always remain. Rejoice in it, in him, and not in whatever your service might be or look like.

Learning to read more

You'd think every pastor has a natural inclination towards reading and a natural aptitude for it. If that's the stereotype then I fit the first half but have always struggled with the latter. Endless are the books I've bought - just ask my wife - and endless are the part-read books on my shelves (and you can now add ebooks into that mix). I've always found it easier to read smaller pieces - articles and such like - but books have always been far harder, certainly non-fiction works that demand sustained concentration. (Publishers, please note: books don't all need to be long)

About two years ago I decided that I needed to do better. Part-digested food doesn't really help a person to be healthy and part-finished books are likewise limited. I decided to set myself a daily goal and see if I could work towards it (I'm pretty sure I read something by John Piper that suggested doing so).

At first I thought a target of ten pages would be sustainable but, happily, that was soon revised upwards - probably because most chapters seemed to be longer than ten pages. Somehow I settled on 30 pages, Monday to Friday. That would mean 150 pages a week which would usually add-up to a book a fortnight or even quicker. It seemed a suitable challenging target without being too daunting and unrealistic.

I set 30 pages as a recurring weekday task in Todoist, my productivity app of choice. That would at least keep it before me as a goal, set one level of priority lower than my daily Bible reading (that is marked highest priority). I had also joined Goodreads, a website and app that allows you, among other things, to track your reading and serves as a database of all the books you've read; you can also follow others and share book reviews and so on.

With those parameters in place, I set off. And it has mostly - wonderfully - worked. A simple system has encouraged me to sustain reading through books and to finish far more than I ever did before. Other than books I'm reading as part of sermon preparation, I try to limit myself to reading through one book at a time. That doesn't work for some people; it does for me. I get less distracted and, if it's a book I'm finding less helpful, I shouldn't be too long in being able to move onto something that will hopefully be more useful.

I've read some very long books and a lot of relatively shorter ones (I don't choose them on that basis - book selection is another topic entirely). Some books I've read through very quickly, mostly novels for relaxation but sometimes more weighty works - Sinclair Ferguson's The Whole Christ was read in less than a day.

Apart from the satisfaction of finishing books, and hopefully with the attendant benefits of working things through, I think I've got better at focussing on what I'm reading; I'm also probably able to read faster, not that that was a particular goal.

Goodreads allows you to set an annual target of books read - I decided not to set one but made a mental note of looking to read 40 books in a year. That seemed pretty ambitious but, being only a soft target, wasn't something I was particularly focussed on. I think I read 50 books that year and then 60 the following year. Colour me astonished.

But something I need to remind myself of frequently: it's not how much I read that matters most, it's how much thinking that reading leads me to do. Colour me unfinished.

Finding the lion bigger as you grow

"Aslan, Aslan. Dear Aslan," sobbed Lucy. "At last."
The great beast rolled over on his side so that Lucy fell, half sitting and half lying between his front paws. He bent forward and just touched her nose with his tongue. His warm breath came all around her. She gazed up into his large wise face.
"Welcome, child," he said.
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."

(Prince Caspian, CS Lewis, p.124, my emphasis)

the man who knows how to wait

"Maybe the best definition of the leader is the man who knows how to wait. During the waiting he learns to lead by prayer. He deepens his love for people and his hold on the throne of grace. He becomes the man in touch with God and the man who understands people."

Jack Miller, The Heart of a Servant Leader, p.209

How parables work (RT France)

Parables...attract attention by their pictorial or paradoxical language, and at the same time their indirect approach serves to tease and provoke the hearer. It would be possible to hear a parable as no more than an interesting story or a striking bon mot, and entirely to miss the point. Parables offer images and riddles which we must work out for ourselves if we are to understand and respond. Parabolic teaching is not given on a plate. It demands perception and careful thought, and it challenges to appropriate action.

RT France, Divine Government, SPCK, p.30

How Jesus pursued his mission

"He did not set out to aggressively recruit followers by overwhelming power or manipulation; rather, he humbly acknowledged that God's prevenient elective, predestinatory choice (his 'drawing' or 'giving' people to Jesus) was required for his ministry to be successful (or, better, effective)."

Andreas Kostenberger, A Theology of John's Gospel and Letters, p.247

Renouncing privilege and power for mere persuasion

Acts 28:30,31 is

"a marvellous conclusion to the earliest recorded history of the church. Whether intended or not, Luke strikes the twin themes of the church's story throughout the best moments of its history: the willing renunciation of earthly privilege and power (Paul is at the mercy of the Roman court) combined with a happy reliance on mere persuasion to advance Christ's cause. The modern church, especially in the West, would do well to remember this winning combination. Christ does not require political, legal, or military power to achieve his purposes. He simply asks for a people willing to suffer and persuade (in the power of the Spirit)."

John Dickson, A Doubter's Guide to the Bible, p.180

On wanting to be a contemplative pastor

Was it realistic to think I could develop [into] something maybe more like a contemplative pastor - a pastor who was able to be with people without having an agenda for them, a pastor who was able to accept people as they were and guide them gently and patiently into a mature life in Christ but not get in the way, let the Holy Spirit do the guiding?

(Eugene Peterson, The Pastor, p.210)

Being an example as a pastor (or, How not to be boring)

The single most important way for pastors or church leaders to turn passive laypeople into courageous and gracious lay ministers is through their own evident godliness. A pastor should be marked by humility, love, joy, and wisdom that is visible and attracts people to trust and learn from them. As a pastor, you may not be the best preacher, but if you are filled with God’s love, joy, and wisdom, you won’t be boring! You may not be the most skilful organizer or charismatic leader, but if your holiness is evident, people will follow you.

Tim Keller, Center Church, p.288

deliberate contexualisation

If we never deliberately think through ways to rightly contextualise gospel ministry to a new culture, we will unconsciously be deeply contextualised to some other culture.

Tim Keller, Center Church, p.96

The heavy, golden voice of Aslan

“If you’re thirsty, you may drink.” They were the first words [Jill] had heard since Scrubb had spoken to her on the edge of the cliff. For a second she stared here and there, wondering who had spoken. Then the voice said again, “If you are thirsty, come and drink,” and of course she remembered what Scrubb had said about animals talking in that other world, and realized that it was the lion speaking. Anyway, she had seen its lips move this time, and the voice was not like a man’s. It was deeper, wilder, and stronger; a sort of heavy, golden voice. It did not make her any less frightened than she had been before, but it made her frightened in rather a different way. “Are you not thirsty?” said the Lion. “I’m dying of thirst,” said Jill. “Then drink,” said the Lion.

CS Lewis, The Silver Chair.

God knew the worst about you....and yet

God knew the worst about us before he chose to love us, and therefore no discovery now can disillusion him about us in the way that we are so often disillusioned about ourselves, and quench his determination to bless us. He took knowledge of us in love.

JI Packer, Knowing God.

What matters most in ministry

Let us not measure men, much less ourselves, by gifts or services. One grain of grace is worth abundance of gifts. To be self-abased, to be filled with a spirit of love, and peace, and gentleness; to be dead to the world; to have the heart deeply affected with a sense of the glory and grace of Jesus, to have our will bowed to the will of God; these are the great things, more valuable, if compared in the balance of the sanctuary, than to be an instrument of converting a province or a nation.

John Newton, Letter to Rev Symonds, 1769.

The old weather-beaten Christian

The old weather-beaten Christian, who has learnt by sorrowful experience how weak he is in himself, and what powerful subtle enemies he has to grapple with, acquires a tenderness in dealing with bruises and broken bones, which greatly conduces to his acceptance and usefulness.

John Newton, Letter to Captain Scott, 1768.

Doing Christ-centred hermeneutics (Mere Fidelity podcast)

Very helpful discussion of Christ-centred hermeneutics with the guys from Mere Fidelity:

"Suffering people hardly settle for a puny god."

When 9/11 occurred, I was waking from a comfortable night’s sleep in an upscale San Antonio hotel.  While dressing, I watched the news footage like most people—dumbstruck.  After I gathered a good sense of what was happening, called to check on my wife and daughters in D.C., I joined my coworkers gathering in a hotel conference room for a discussion of public policy and improving the life outcomes of children and families.  When I arrived, I found a room heavy with confusion, sadness, and fear.  We were a collection of policy professionals from around the country—lots of us with family and friends in Washington, D. C. and New York.  In the silence, confusion, and sporadic telephone connections with family were the questions, “What’s going on?”  and, “Who is in control?”  A few dared ask, “Is God involved in any of this?”

I was the lone evangelical Christian in a group of committed political and social progressives.  I wasn’t in the room 3 minutes before everyone was looking to me for an answer and for prayer.

That scene reminds me that everyone needs to answer some basic, deep questions about life.  Is God involved in my life?  Who is in control?  How do I explain this pain?  It also taught me that, at bottom, we all need to encounter the majestic, glorious, merciful, and awesome God of the Scripture.  He’s the only God there is.  And when we really need Him, we need Him in all His bigness and splendor.  Suffering people hardly settle for a puny god.

So, I want to preach in such a way that recognizes that the God that truly is and the God we truly need holds all things in His hand.  He rules and reigns with no rivals.  And when the world seems to come undone, the sovereign God of the Bible is who we need.  In truth, we need that God all the time and the purpose of preaching in a post-9/11 world is to simultaneously reveal Him in sovereign glory while stripping away the mundane to expose our deep need for Him.  Most of us live in a routine-induced daze that distracts us from ultimate matters.  Preaching is the audible interruption of that daze to ask, “Do you see this great God?  Come and love Him!”

Thabiti Anyabwile