In Psalm 139, David reflects on being known by God. Addressing himself to the "LORD" - the Uncreated One, full of power and splendour and light, the God of covenant surety - he says, "LORD, you have searched me". Nothing is hidden from your sight. Everything lies open before you. You have searched me - turned over every leaf, pulled away all the dead bark; scoured me, but without any caustic intent.
And you have searched so that you might know. Not the knowledge of desiccated shards of information, but knowing the person, the whole being, body and soul. You have searched me "and you know" - you know not just me but all things (as Peter affirmed to Jesus - John 21:17). Every hiding place is open to you. Every shaded retreat from voices and faces. Every arrowed anxiety. Every breath. You have searched me and you know - with limitless extent.
And not just breadth but depth: every activity and action; every thought; every impulse birthed into words; all my ways, habits, peculiarities and weaknesses - "my going out and my lying down". The momentum of life that is only ever a mystery to me, he knows, without limits.
The LORD knows and, in that knowing, "You hem me in behind and before". You surround my whole life; no gaps; no instant where you are absent; no place where you are empty space. And your hand - firm, secure, tender - "you lay your hand upon me", without haste, in holy love and purpose. Hands that flung stars into space and surrendered to cruel nails - the scarred hands of infinite love are laid upon me.
David has been searched and known and he himself knows that the LORD is the One who is present, always and everywhere. His hands shape and mould. All this, and more, is unveiled in sacred trust. All this, David acknowledges, "is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain". We cannot contain the mystery and the majesty of being known by the living God, known to this extent and with such tender love and honesty and purpose.
What possible response can we make to being known like this, to being loved as we are known? With David we draw breath and pray, not for less but for the more of ongoing relationship and illimitable life:
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me, and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
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Pass me not, O gentle Saviour,
Hear my humble cry;
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.
Saviour! Saviour!
Hear my humble cry;
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.
Let me at a throne of mercy
Find a sweet relief;
Kneeling there in deep contrition,
Help my unbelief.
Saviour, Saviour,
Hear my humble cry;
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.
Trusting only in Thy merit,
Would I seek Thy face;
Heal my wounded, broken spirit,
Save me by Thy grace.
Saviour, Saviour,
Hear my humble cry;
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.
Thou the spring of all my comfort,
More than life to me;
Whom have I on earth beside Thee?
Whom in heaven but Thee?
Saviour, Saviour,
Hear my humble cry;
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.
(Frances Jane Van Alstyne, 1820-1915)
