Sometimes we can feel that on behalf of others, too. We watch them, listen to them, and wish they’d taken things slower. That they'd draw breath and wait. Maybe that’s how you feel about Paul in the book of Acts - with his back firmly against the wall, he exercises his right as a citizen and appeals to Caesar. He asks for his case to be heard in Rome by the emperor (Acts 25:11). But did he speak too soon? Is his imprisonment in Rome, with which Acts ends - and where in all probability Paul’s life ended too - a tragic waste of potential, of usefulness and service to God? Has he rashly blown his inalienable right to freedom?
It can feel like that, and especially so when we overhear Agrippa telling Festus that if Paul hadn’t appealed to Caesar he could have been set free (Acts 26:32). If only he’d been more patient and played a longer game, his life would have been extended and his freedom put to good gospel use.
But that emotional ride on the roller-coaster of Paul’s life forgets the most significant fact: it was the Lord himself, before any appeal by Paul to Caesar, who told his servant to “Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify about me in Rome.” (Acts 23:11) Had Paul jumped the gun? Not at all. He took the step he did in complete assurance that to go to Rome was in God’s purpose for him, either by this means or another. The climactic statement by Luke in Acts 28:14 only serves to underline that: “And so we came to Rome.” Journey's end; in the place of God's choosing.
This wasn’t a simple but tragic twist of fate. Nor was it the folly of speaking in haste and repenting at leisure. Paul’s confidence remained in the Lord and he was secure in his hands.
We might agonise and lament on his behalf, that if he’d only waited things could have been so different but, in doing so, we betray our own limited view as to what usefulness means and how deep the wisdom of God goes into life’s circumstances. That holds as true for our lives as it did for Paul’s. And we'd be denying Paul’s dearly-held conviction, expressed when faced with the tears of those who will see him no longer: “I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me,” (Acts 20:24) His forthright, passionate commitment is a perennial challenge to us, shining its searching light on our choices and stances.
When push came to shove, when under house-arrest in Rome, did Paul have a more limited usefulness? He sees his role, his calling, in terms that transcend the means by which it had previously been carried out: “the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” He could faithfully continue doing so in whatever circumstances he found himself. Our lives change; our options might seem to be narrowing, our effectiveness tapering. But wait: is that really true? Are the Lord’s hands tied?
Did Paul speak too soon? Clearly not. But we might, when we close-off avenues of service simply because we haven’t considered them. Or when our eyes are not open enough in faith to see ways in which the Lord might choose to be at work in our present and our future. And, always, his hands are safe, our lives secure.
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Hast thou not known, hast thou not heard
That firm remains on high
The everlasting throne of Him
Who formed the earth and sky?
Art thou afraid His power shall fail
When comes thy evil day?
And can an all-creating arm
Grow weary or decay?
Supreme in wisdom as in power
The Rock of Ages stands;
Though Him thou canst not see, nor trace
The working of His hands.
He gives the conquest to the weak,
Supports the fainting heart;
And courage in the evil hour
His heavenly aids impart.
Mere human power shall fast decay,
And youthful vigour cease;
But they who wait upon the Lord
In strength shall still increase.
They with unwearied feet shall tread
The path of life divine,
With growing ardour onward move,
With growing brightness shine.
On eagles' wings they mount, they soar--
Their wings are faith and love;
Till, past the cloudy regions here,
They rise to heaven above.
(Isaac Watts, 1674-1748)
