It's one of the saddest things that could ever be said to the Lord:
"I knew that you are a hard man..." (Mt. 25:24) It's not something any Christian would see themselves saying in the cold light of day, yet it is a suspicion that can be harboured in the shadows of our hearts, however much we might rush to deny it.
Of course we gladly honour the grace that has saved us, forgiven our sin and made us his children. For all that we are deeply thankful. And yet, at the level of day to day life, the suspicion lingers and festers: he expects; he exacts. He makes impossible demands. He holds our every thought and word and deed up to the light and, on seeing every imperfection and blemish, his face clouds with bitter disappointment.
And so the Christian life is lived in distorted fear. As the nameless man in the parable admits,
"I was afraid." This is not the fear of the Lord that is pure and endures for ever (Ps. 19:9), the fear that is an overwhelmed amazement at the love of God. This is fear that hides from his face, believing it to be thunderous and darkened with displeasure. This is fear that is fed by unrelieved shame.
How did we get ourselves into such a state?
Possibly through teaching that was not sufficiently true to the character of God revealed in the Bible. Perhaps by what we saw (unwittingly) modelled by others, in their own fearful discipleship and possibly in how they then treated us. It could be we've settled for a skewed portrait and haven't pursued our questions with a believing vigour, assuming the answers will only confirm our wretched suspicions.
However it came to be, there is another road to take. In Matthew 11 the Lord Jesus invites us to come to him and rest. That rest for our souls is intimately connected to the fact that
"No one knows the Father except the Son and those the Son chooses to reveal him to" (11:27). The gentleness and humility of heart that all who come to Jesus discover is a revelation of the character of the Father. He is supremely generous and compassionate and merciful.
That reflection of the Father in his Son is immediately seen in Matthew 12. Our Lord Jesus defends his disciples in a sabbath controversy with the Pharisees and proceeds to give complete restoration to a man whose hand was shrivelled. The sabbath was for rest and blessing, fulfilled in faith in Christ. Nothing could be more appropriate than to heal on it and bring joy and relief.
The Pharisees' approach to the law led to enslavement and a mis-characterisation of the living God. Our Lord Jesus makes plain that the fulfilment of Law and Temple is found in him and in the complete transformation and healing he alone can bring, as the Son who reveals the Father.
We can lay our false fears to rest, in the solvent of divine love that has power to dissolve all anxieties and misgivings. He is not, in any sense, a hard man. Let's not hide in the shadows, suspicious of our Father, for, truly, "the heart of the eternal is most wonderfully kind."
************
Sing praise to God who reigns above,
The God of all creation,
The God of wonders, power and love,
The God of our salvation.
With healing balm my soul He fills,
The God who every sorrow stills -
To God all praise and glory!
What God's almighty power hath made
His gracious mercy keepeth;
By morning dawn or evening shade
His watchful eye ne'er sleepeth;
Within the kingdom of His might,
Lo, all is just and all is right -
To God all praise and glory!
I cried to Him, in time of need:
Lord God, O hear my calling!
For death He gave me life indeed
And kept my feet from falling.
For this my thanks shall endless be;
O thank Him, thank our God with me -
To God all praise and glory!
The Lord forsaketh not His flock,
His chosen generation;
He is their Refuge and their Rock,
Their Peace and their Salvation.
As with a mother's tender hand
He leads His own, His chosen band -
To God all praise and glory!
Then come before His presence now
And banish fear and sadness;
To your Redeemer pay your vow
And sing with joy and gladness:
Though great distress my soul befell,
The Lord, my God, did all things well -
To God all praise and glory!
(Johann Jakob Schutz, 1640-90
tr. by Frances Elizabeth Cox, 1812-97)