In 2 Cor 2:12ff Paul tells us that he went to Troas and discovered there an open door for the gospel. Just exactly what every church-planter and evangelist longs to find. And such a confirmation that this is exactly where the Lord wants him to be, to stay and work there, to make every effort to reach the people of that town with the good news.
Except, for Paul, it wasn’t. The open gospel door did not take away his uneasiness of mind regarding his brother Titus. He wasn't too sure where he was or how he was faring. Being so very anxious to find him, to know how things were with him, Paul could not settle “and went on to Macedonia”.
That is such a surprising outcome, at least to our minds. Paul puts his own peace of mind above the clearest gospel opportunity. If you were counselling him you’d probably point him to God’s sovereignty and providence:
‘He’s given you this opportunity, right now, with these people who desperately need to be saved. Open doors don’t come every day. And Titus is in the Lord’s hands. You ought to trust him to look after his servant. He’s cared for you, Paul, so why can’t you believe him for Titus? And if Titus doesn’t make it, well at least he will have made it to heaven. You’re needed here. You ought to be obedient and stay.’
Makes sense. But not to Paul. Is his decision to leave a capitulation to his own sense of peace and well-being? You could argue that - he wasn’t perfect; he didn’t always make the right decisions. But I think we can be more charitable in our assessment and consider a few things:
i. People matter, and not just large numbers of unsaved people. Paul’s own state of mind is important and so is the well-being of Titus. And because people matter there ought to be no place in the Christian life for manipulation into gospel service in the face of personal anguish. An individual's conscience and conviction about what is the right thing to do is not up for grabs. Don Carson wisely warns that,
"a shame culture can manipulate individuals with terrible cruelty. The price of social cohesion can be destruction of individual integrity. In the same way, the church can thunder the truth that Jesus’ name is to be lifted up, yet do so in such a way that people are manipulated, driven by guilt without pardon, power without mercy, conformity without grace." (A Call to Spiritual Reformation, p.110f)
ii. The well-being of both Paul and Titus has to be set into the larger frame of the ongoing work of God. It’s not just about what’s happening right now. Paul’s mental health and Titus’ welfare are both likely to be significant to the progress of the gospel in the longer-term. That consideration has to have a place in our thinking.
iii. But most clearly, from Paul’s own words here, leaving Troas did not mean God's gospel work through his life would be parked. As he travels to find Titus he is deeply aware that “God…always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession.” His life is governed and secured by the risen Christ, including every seeming defeat and setback. And so are ours.
That realisation, and the restfulness it can breathe into our hearts, comes through a growing faith in the character and ways of God and the supremacy of the finished work of Jesus. He is Lord, even when our own work or service is interrupted or halted.
And, as he goes on his way, Paul knows that the work of God is continuing, for he “uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere." A testimony that is not simply about words but about a life held in the saving and all-sufficient grace of God. The fragrance of Christ will be encountered not just where there has been a manifestly open door for the gospel but all the way along the line. Even as Paul travels with an anxious, burdened mind. Even as he takes what many would have deemed to be the less-faithful option. Even in our fractured, splintering lives.
Because, in God's hands, an open door is not all there is.
************
And, as he goes on his way, Paul knows that the work of God is continuing, for he “uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere." A testimony that is not simply about words but about a life held in the saving and all-sufficient grace of God. The fragrance of Christ will be encountered not just where there has been a manifestly open door for the gospel but all the way along the line. Even as Paul travels with an anxious, burdened mind. Even as he takes what many would have deemed to be the less-faithful option. Even in our fractured, splintering lives.
Because, in God's hands, an open door is not all there is.
************
Lifelong our stumbles, lifelong our regret,
Lifelong our efforts failing and renewed,
While lifelong is our witness, "God is good:"
Who bore with us till now, bears with us yet,
Who still remembers and will not forget,
Who gives us light and warmth and daily food;
And gracious promises half understood,
And glories half unveiled, whereon to set
Our heart of hearts and eyes of our desire;
Uplifting us to longing and to love,
Luring us upward from this world of mire,
Urging us to press on and mount above
Ourselves and all we have had experience of,
Mounting to Him in love's perpetual fire.
(Christina Rossetti, from Later Life: A Double Sonnet of Sonnets)
